BIKE RIDE SEPT. 94
By Lou Del Bianco
I'm 9 yrs. old and I still can't ride a bike. Everybody in my class can ride a bike. The kid next door can ride a bike. Even my 5 yr. old sister can ride a bike! Man, everybody can ride a bike-except me.
I mean, I can sit on top of a bike(when it's not moving) And I can steer a bike really well(when it's still not moving) I can even pedal! I do all those things better than anybody- But it's always that moving part that gets me; I mean, I'll be picking up speed, whizzing by houses, feeling great(ROUND AND ROUND-DON'T FALL DOWN:3X) like "Wow, I'm gonna do it"!- when, as usual, I start to get SCARED...then I WOBBLE and then of course, I PLOP (splat!&#%^!) And as I wipe the dirt off my face and pull a piece of grass out of my nose, I always say to myself, "If I can't ride a bike now, what's going to happen to me when I'm OLDER???
THE FUTURE....
I'm 40 years old, married, and I've got 6 kids!-It's 12 o'clock at night and my own two kids wanna go to bed because they're sick and tired of trying to teach me how to ride that same 2-wheeler banana seat bike...
LOU: Come on, kids, just one more try, please?
KIDS: No, Da, we wanna go to bed!!!
Am I ever going to be able to ride a bike?.... There it is, the end of my street- If I could just ride my two wheeler to the end of my street, then I'd be happy! Look, there's a blue mailbox right on the corner- if I could just reach that mailbox.....
Yeah, I could do it!
O.K.-I'm on the banana seat-hands on handlebars-foot on pedals-
Let's go!- I'm picking up speed-whizzing by houses-feeling great-(ROUND AND ROUND-DON'T FALL DOWN 3X) Wow, I think I'm gonna do it! OH, NO...SCARED...WOBBLE....PLOP! (4%#@*!!) And as I watch my 5 year old sister ride ride right by me (rasberry) I say to myself, "If I can't ride a bike now, what's going to happen to me when I'm OLDER?
THE FUTURE.......
(Commentator): Well, here we are, ladies and gentleman on location at 92 North Regent St. where 105 yr. old Lou DelBianco will make his final attempt at riding a two wheeler banana seat bike to the end of his street. Well Frank, tell me, what do you think are Del Bianco's chances are this year of reaching that
blue mailbox?
BIKE RIDE PAGE 2
(Commentator 2): Well, Fred, if Lou can avoid the ol' scared and wobble problem he's had all these past seasons I think he's got a good shot at finally doing it. Well, it's time to go to the action as Del Bianco starts his final ride........
LOU:(As an old man) O.K. I'm on the banana seat-hands on handlebars-feet on pedals-Let's go! I'm picking up speed again;whizzing by houses;feelin great(ROUND AND ROUND-DON'T FALL DOWN 3X) I finally think I'm gonna do it! OH, NO---SCARED...WOBBLE...PLOP(#$!!%) Aw, nuts......(Doufus!!)
Am I ever gonna be able to ride a bike?
Wow, it's getting really dark; I still can't do it!!
LOU'S MOM: "Louis, it's time to come inside!!"
"In a minute, Ma-In a minute!!" That's it, I've had it!! I'm gonna reach that blue mailbox if it's the last thing I do- O.K.
I'm on the banana seat-hands on handlebars-feet on pedals-Let's go! I'm picking up speed again;whizzing by houses;feelin great-(ROUND AND ROUND-DON'T FALL DOWN 3X)
I finally... think... I'm...really,really gonna do it!! OH, NO---
SCARED...WOBBLE...WOBBLE...PEDAL...PEDAL...RIDE...RIDE...RIDE
I DID IT!!!!
YEAH!!! I'M RIDING A BIKE AND I DIDN'T PLOP!! LOOK, I'M GETTING TO THE END, AND THERE'S THE BLUE MAILBOX-(SMACKS IT) YES!! I FINALLY DID IT!! YEAH!!!~
MAN, I DID GREAT-
I CAN FINALLY RIDE A BIKE!(now if I can just learn how to swim)
4 MIN. 50 SEC
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