Lou Del Bianco   A Little Bit Clumsy

"I'LL BE YOUR BEST FRIEND!!" JAN.95
By Lou Del Bianco

When I was a kid, I always wanted to be somebody's best friend. I think I wanted that more than anything in the world! And I think everybody in school knew it, too, because whenever anybody wanted something from me, all they had to say was, "I'll be your best friend" and I'd always fall for it.............................

Friend#1: "Lou, my man, can you give me a dime?"
Lou: "I gave you a dime yesterday."
Friend#1: "I'll be your best friend!"
Lou: "O.K.!"

And then there was the time.................

Friend#2: "Hey Lou, I'll trade you this donut for your cupcake!"
Lou: ` "But yours is half eaten and there's dirt all over it!"
Friend#2: "Aw, come on just brush the dirt off!"
Lou: "No way, that's gross!"
Friend#2: "I'll be your best friend!"
Lou: "Sure!"

Wait, it gets worse........................

Friend#3: "That's a cool baseball mitt! Is it yours?
Lou: "Yep!"
Friend#3: "I'll give you a quarter for it!"
Lou: "This isn't a quarter!"
Friend#3: "Yes it is!"
Lou: "No it's not, it's a crumpled up piece of foil!"
Friend#3: "No, it isn't!"
Lou: "Yes, it is!"
Friend#3: "Aw, come on!"
Lou: "NO!!!!"
Friend#3: "I'll be your best friend!"
Lou: "All right!"

Yep, I'd fall for it every time, even if they weren't that nice to me and even though they probably didn't want to be my best friend in the first place! I think that week alone I became best friends with the entire 5th grade-

Well, I'm not gonna take it anymore... I'm gonna stand up for myself! A best friends' gotta be a best friend all the time, right? No more falling for that stupid line cause I've had it!
That's right, I've had it!! The next kid who wants to be my best friend is gonna be my best friend because they wanna be!!!

Friend#4: " Hey Lou, can I have your bike?
Lou: " NO WAY!!!"
Friend#4: "I'll be your best friend!"
Lou: "Take it."(someday I'll learn) 1 min. 20 sec.

BIG NED
Words and Music by Lou Del Bianco


One winter mornin back in "75"
My friends and I were playin in the snow
Let's build a snowman, make him 10 feet high
What should we call him? I don't know...(I do!)

BIG NED....BIG NED....
NEED ALOT O' SNOW TO MAKE HIM GROW-
BIG NED....BIG NED....BIG NED!

Well, the bottom of NED was easy, but makin his middle as not
For the higher we built that snowman, the harder it got
Cause Mike fell off a ladder-Mark's foot was in my face
Our heads banged into each other,
There were kids and snow all over the place!

BIG NED....BIG NED....
NEED ALOT O' SNOW TO MAKE HIM GROW-
BIG NED....BIG NED....BIG NED!

Here's the part we were waitin for- to put that head on top
The biggest snowman in the world!
(Well, the biggest one on the block)
Snow was in our faces, snow was up our nose
We didn't care, we were makin NED,
Watchin him as he grows-grows-grows-grows-GROWS!

(Musical interlude)

When we were finished, NED was lookin fine,
We used up every bit of snow in that big yard of mine
A row of charcoal buttons; a sombrero on his head
He had a yellow mustache and two eyebrows cherry red

BIG NED....BIG NED
NEED ALOT O' SNOW TO MAKE HIM GROW-
GOT ALOT O' HIM FOR US TO SHOW-
BEST SNOWMAN IN THE WORLD WE KNOW-
BIG NED....BIG NED....BIG NED....(REPEAT TIL END)

BIKE RIDE SEPT. 94
By Lou Del Bianco

I'm 9 yrs. old and I still can't ride a bike. Everybody in my class can ride a bike. The kid next door can ride a bike. Even my 5 yr. old sister can ride a bike! Man, everybody can ride a bike-except me.

I mean, I can sit on top of a bike(when it's not moving) And I can steer a bike really well(when it's still not moving) I can even pedal! I do all those things better than anybody- But it's always that moving part that gets me; I mean, I'll be picking up speed, whizzing by houses, feeling great(ROUND AND ROUND-DON'T FALL DOWN:3X) like "Wow, I'm gonna do it"!- when, as usual, I start to get SCARED...then I WOBBLE and then of course, I PLOP (splat!&#%^!) And as I wipe the dirt off my face and pull a piece of grass out of my nose, I always say to myself, "If I can't ride a bike now, what's going to happen to me when I'm OLDER???

THE FUTURE....

I'm 40 years old, married, and I've got 6 kids!-It's 12 o'clock at night and my own two kids wanna go to bed because they're sick and tired of trying to teach me how to ride that same 2-wheeler banana seat bike...

LOU: Come on, kids, just one more try, please?
KIDS: No, Da, we wanna go to bed!!!

Am I ever going to be able to ride a bike?.... There it is, the end of my street- If I could just ride my two wheeler to the end of my street, then I'd be happy! Look, there's a blue mailbox right on the corner- if I could just reach that mailbox.....
Yeah, I could do it!

O.K.-I'm on the banana seat-hands on handlebars-foot on pedals-
Let's go!- I'm picking up speed-whizzing by houses-feeling great-(ROUND AND ROUND-DON'T FALL DOWN 3X) Wow, I think I'm gonna do it! OH, NO...SCARED...WOBBLE....PLOP! (4%#@*!!) And as I watch my 5 year old sister ride ride right by me (rasberry) I say to myself, "If I can't ride a bike now, what's going to happen to me when I'm OLDER?

THE FUTURE.......

(Commentator): Well, here we are, ladies and gentleman on location at 92 North Regent St. where 105 yr. old Lou DelBianco will make his final attempt at riding a two wheeler banana seat bike to the end of his street. Well Frank, tell me, what do you think are Del Bianco's chances are this year of reaching that
blue mailbox?




BIKE RIDE PAGE 2


(Commentator 2): Well, Fred, if Lou can avoid the ol' scared and wobble problem he's had all these past seasons I think he's got a good shot at finally doing it. Well, it's time to go to the action as Del Bianco starts his final ride........

LOU:(As an old man) O.K. I'm on the banana seat-hands on handlebars-feet on pedals-Let's go! I'm picking up speed again;whizzing by houses;feelin great(ROUND AND ROUND-DON'T FALL DOWN 3X) I finally think I'm gonna do it! OH, NO---SCARED...WOBBLE...PLOP(#$!!%) Aw, nuts......(Doufus!!)

Am I ever gonna be able to ride a bike?

Wow, it's getting really dark; I still can't do it!!

LOU'S MOM: "Louis, it's time to come inside!!"

"In a minute, Ma-In a minute!!" That's it, I've had it!! I'm gonna reach that blue mailbox if it's the last thing I do- O.K.
I'm on the banana seat-hands on handlebars-feet on pedals-Let's go! I'm picking up speed again;whizzing by houses;feelin great-(ROUND AND ROUND-DON'T FALL DOWN 3X)
I finally... think... I'm...really,really gonna do it!! OH, NO---
SCARED...WOBBLE...WOBBLE...PEDAL...PEDAL...RIDE...RIDE...RIDE
I DID IT!!!!

YEAH!!! I'M RIDING A BIKE AND I DIDN'T PLOP!! LOOK, I'M GETTING TO THE END, AND THERE'S THE BLUE MAILBOX-(SMACKS IT) YES!! I FINALLY DID IT!! YEAH!!!~

MAN, I DID GREAT-
I CAN FINALLY RIDE A BIKE!(now if I can just learn how to swim)

4 MIN. 50 SEC

THAT'S WHAT MY MOMMA SAYS
Words by Lou Del Bianco
Music by Lou Del Bianco and Marshall Toppo


When I'm feelin kinda hungry, and I'm feelin kinda beat,
And I gotta ask my Mother, "Ma, when are we gonna eat?"
And she says- "SOON"(But Ma, what time?)
"SHORTLY" (Ma, you always say that!)

When I wake up in the morning, not feeling like I should
And I gotta tell my Mother, "Ma, I don't feel so good"
And she says-"THERE'S A BUG GOING AROUND"(Ma, you alays say that)
"DID YOU DO YOUR BUSINESS?" (MAAAAAAAA!!!)

REFRAIN
THAT'S WHAT MY MOMMA SAYS,
THAT'S WHAT MY MOMMA SAYS,
YOU KNOW WHAT SHE'LL SAY, BUT YA ASK ANYWAY
THAT'S WHAT MY MOMMA SAYS

When I wanna get it now, and I really have to now
So I gotta ask my Mother, "Ma, can I get a G.I. Joe?"
And she says-"LET'S SEE WHAT TOMORROW BRINGS"(Ma,I want it today)
"YOU NEED THAT LIKE YOU NEED A HOLE IN THE HEAD" Ma!

THAT'A WHAT MY MOMMA SAYS,
THAT'S WHAT MY MOMMA SAYS,
YOU KNOW WHAT SHE'LL SAY, BUT YA ASK ANYWAY
THAT WHAT MY MOMMA-

BRIDGE
Sometimes you might get angry, but then you alays know
What Momma says, Momma means- that's why you love her so,
That's why you love her so!!!!

REFRAIN

MUSTARD TREE
Words and Music by Lou Del Bianco


As long as I can remember
The mustard tree has always been there for me
Mighty friend from the ground

Leaves on a great umbrella
You keep me safe, you keep me warm, you keep me dry
When the rain is high in the sky

As long as I can remember
The mustard tree has always been there for me
Mighty friend from the ground

ONE LAST COOKIE
Words and Music by Lou Del Bianco


Six o'clock, and it's time to eat,
Seven kids sittin' at their seats
After dinner is our favorite part
As our Mom goes for the box,
We watch her as she opens it up
And our eyes open wide as we look inside
And all we see is just-

ONE LAST COOKIE- all alone
ONE LAST COOKIE- down to the bone
ONE LAST COOKIE- just ain't enough
ONE LAST COOKIE- life is tough
ONE LAST COOKIE'S GONNA BE: for me....for me!

Mom says, "Kids, don't scream-don't make a sound,
This cookie ain't enough to go around!
I think I'll put it on the highest shelf-
Now, don't you look so sad-I'm saving it for your Dad,
And you know how he likes his sweets!
So don't you touch that-

ONE LAST COOKIE- on the shelf
ONE LAST COOKIE- all by itself
ONE LAST COOKIE- so tasty, so new
ONE LAST COOKIE- it's not for you
ONE LAST COOKIE'S GONNA BE: for me....for me!

Should I eat it, should I not-
Mom would be so mad at me,
Dad would be so mad at me,
Mad at me-mad at me-mad at me!!!

Ten o'clock and they're all in bed
Can't get that one last cookie out of my head
I climb the shelf, I open the box and
What do you think I find,
"It's Daddys' favorite kind!
But I've waited for this cookie all night-
Should I take a bite?".....

(Spoken)
"Should I eat it? Should I? Umph! Oh, that tastes so
good! (Nikky barks) Nikky, be quiet, you're going to wake up-
(UH-OH) Uh, hi Dad- What am I doing? I'm just eating your...

ONE LAST COOKIE-and it's in my mouth
ONE LAST COOKIE-it's goin' south
ONE LAST COOKIE-call the doctor, quick
ONE LAST COOKIE-I think I'm gonna be sick
ONE LAST COOKIE'S GONNA BE: for me...for me...for me...for me!

SEPARATE ON THE PLATE
Words and Music by Lou Del Bianco


I love to eat, eatin is great
Groupin all those goodies on top of my plate
I don't like my food so close, I like em far away
So I've got alot of rules that I follow every day

No gravy in my greens, no ketchup in my fries
No onions in my applesauce,it makes me wanna cry
(So, listen guys)

REFRAIN
YA GOTTA SEPARATE ON THE PLATE
YA GOTTA SEPARATE ON THE PLATE
YA GOTTA SEPARATE ON THE PLATE
WHEN I EAT, I LIKE TO KEEP MY FOOD NEAT!

My Mamma says, "Wipe that look off your face!
It all goes down to the same place."
"Picky, picky, picky", my sisters all say,
"If you don't want your supper, we'll eat it anyway!"

Now my dad, he doesn't mind, he does not make a fuss
He'll eat two scoops of ice cream where the macaroni was
(shceevotz!)

REFRAIN

This is what I issue, this is what I warn,
Keep those mashed potatoes out of my corn!
You can build a brick wall forty feet high
So my beans can't get to the other side

You might think I'm a baby, to complain with all my might
To put my family through this each and every single night
(Well, you're right)

REFRAIN

I HAVE SIX SISTERS
Words and Music by Lou Del Bianco


Growing up in my house- was a baby boom
Seven kids in seven beds in two small, tiny rooms
I do not have a brother, I really must confess
But I have alot of the other, as you can only guess

REFRAIN
I have six sisters, six sisters I've got
That's not alittle, that's really a-lot!
We fight and we scream almost everyday
But through it all, I luv 'em just the same

Getting dressed in the morning, is not a wonderful treat
Clothes are flying,shoes are trying to get on all the right feet
I put on something right away, to get me out of this mess
But as I leave I realize I'm wearing somebody's dress

REFRAIN

I can't get into the bathroom-cause they live in there!
I knock, I scream, I hold it in- "Wait, we're doing our hair!"
Three hours later, and I start to do my dance
When three come out, three more come in (I never had a chance)

REFRAIN

You might think I'm a baby, with all these statements I've made,
Just look at all this grey hair, and I'm only in the 4th-grade!
There's somethin that I must admit,there's something I must say,
I'd rather have six sisters than six brothers any day....

REFRAIN

THE GIRLS WITH THREE NOSES DEC.94



Sometimes I get really mad at my sisters! They are always:

1. Making fun of me when I try to sing
2. In the bathroom when I want to use it!
3. Trying to get into my stuff-man are they nosey!

Sometimes I wish that they would just go away!!! I remember one day when I wished that more than anything; and that night when I went to bed, I had a dream................

It was a beautiful day- the sun was shining, and everyone was swimming in this great, big pool and having the best time!
I was standing with my friend, Robby, looking at all of these people- hundreds of them; but the moment I turned my head and looked back again, everyone was.....GONE! Dissappeared, like magic. The only ones left were Robby and me. "Where did everyone go?" I asked. And Robby replied, "Where did they go? I'll tell you where they went-they all ran to get away from................

THE GIRLS WITH THREE NOSES!!!!"

"The girls with three noses?" "Yeh," Robbie repeated. "The girls with three noses! They come from outer space, and they plan to take over the world! And if your sisters see a girl with three noses, then they'll get three noses, too. And worst of all: Your mother will turn into..... CARDBOARD!!
"Oh, no!" I thought to myself, "I've got 6 sisters! I better go warn them before it's too late!!"

I grabbed the first thing I saw- a tricycle - and I rode down the side walk as fast as I could; Man, I must have been going at least 80 miles a hour!! Before you knew it, I was back in my own neighborhood. Then I saw these girls with their backs towards me. One of them was my sister! I yelled to her with all my might: AMY!!! AMY!!! AMY!!! All of a sudden, Amy turned around and......

SHE HAD 3 NOSES COMING OUT OF HER FACE!!! "Agghhh!!!" I screamed! I jumped back on my tricycle and pedaled towards my house to tell my mother that my sister Amy had turned into a girl with three noses! But I never got the chance, because right in front of me were my other 5 sisters, all standing with their
THE GIRLS WITH THREE NOSES PG.2


backs toward me! Oh, no, it can't be!! I screamed all of their names even louder: ANDREA!!! NANCY!!! LINDA!!! MARIA!!! VALERIE!!! All at once, they turned around and...................

AAGGGH!!! THERE WERE NOSES EVERYWHERE!!!! NOSES ON THEIR CHINS, COMING OUT OF THEIR EARS, EVEN ON THE TOPS OF THEIR HEADS!!! "Oh, no!!!! I can't believe it, they're all girls with three noses!!! I pedaled past them right

into my backyard- I had to get to my mother! I opened my mouth
and yelled as loud as I could: MOMMY!!! MOMMY!!! MOMMY!!!
And out of thru the livingroom window popped...............

MY MOTHER MADE COMPLETELY OUT OF CARDBOARD!!!! OH, NO!!! HELP!!!
WHAT HAPPENED TO YOU, MA?? AAAAHGH!!! AND THEN ALL OF A SUDDEN I-

Woke up. I was in my bed. It was just a dream- Ha! Girls with three noses, give me a break! I mean it was a dream....right? I climbed down from my bunk bed and crept over to where Amy was sleeping. "Oh, please don't have three noses, please, please don't have three noses!" I said over and over again as I looked as closely as I could wihout waking her up. All of sudden, she turned over in her bed and her face had...had...HAD--one nose. I mean, it was perfect- the way it's always been! What a relief!! I checked all of my 5 other sisters, too:

ANDREA:GREAT! NANCY:FANTASTIC! LINDA:BEAUTIFUL! MARIA:COOL!
VALERIE:ADORABLE!

And when I pinched my mother to see if she was made out of cardboard, she woke up screaming "OWWW!!!" "Uh, sorry, Ma- I love you!" And I gave her a hug; my mother was so out of it she just rolled over and went right back to sleep. And that's exactly what I did when I got back into bed.

THE END

"WALKIN' HOME"
Words and music by Lou Del Bianco

Another day of school is over,
I leave the building, my bag across my shoulder,
Someone's smiling, I yell to them, "I'll see ya!"
I walk across the street and I see the big high school-

Someday I'll go there, when I am older,
But I'm not older, so that's why I don't go there
My sisters go there, and they're much older
I hope they're stayin cause I'll listen to their stereo

I'm on the path it, goes up the hill where
The guy is sellin, lots of ice cream
I want an ice cream, I gotta have an ice cream
I have no money;I never have any money-

THIS IS THE WAY, I WALK EVERYDAY
LOOKIN' AT THESE PLACES IN THE SAME OLD WAY
AND I'M ALL ALONE- AND I'M WALKIN HOME

There's the driveway, with lots of gravel
I scoop the gravel and toss it on the sidewalk
Someday the guy who, owns this gravel
Is gonna catch me and I'll run away screaming

There's a girl and, she's kinda pretty,
I'll look right at her and ask her, "How ya doin'?"
Oh no, she's gettin closer- she's really, really pretty
Now she's walkin by me and I'm lookin at the ground-oh!

What's for dinner, I hope it's zitti,
I hope it's zitti, with lot's of Mommie's meatballs
There's the dog that's always barking
I don't like lentils cause they make me really nervous-

REFRAIN

I see a tin can, I start to kick it
Past the house with the pretty garden
Past the man there, he isn't friendly
His grass is perfect and he looks like he vacuums it

I kick the tin can, I kick it far and
I'm gonna kick it until I reach my house now]
But if I miss it, I gotta start all over,
Oop's- I missed it; oh, I hate it when I think like this!!

Down the hill and, I see my driveway
I'm still thinkin about that pretty girl and,
Through the window, I see my mother cooking,
I'm getting nervous cause it's smellin like lentils!
REFRAIN(and I'm finally home)