Bill Shontz   Package Man

PACKAGE MAN
Georgie made the most delicious cookies
Georgie baked them in his special pan
All his friends who tried ‘em
Said that folks would buy ‘em
If they’re packaged nice and fancy
By the famous Package Man
So Georgie rode his bike down to the factory
Walked inside, his cookie in his hand
G: Hi, my name is Georgie, I want to sell this cookie.
PM: You were wise to come and see me, Georgie, I’m the
Package Man!
I am the Package Man, I am the Package Man
I can pack-ack-ack a package like no other packer can
I’ll make it boxidacious, packastrophic really swell
Cause a cookie’s just a cookie, it’s the package that’ll sell!
He turned to his assistant
Who was standing close behind. He said,
PM: Take this cookie, Snookie
We’ve a package to design!
Let’s see, where should we start? Hey, I’ve got it!
Wrap the cookie up in paper
Neon pink might work quite well.
S: Yeah, I think that hot pink paper
Would be absolutely swell.
PM: Cause a cookie’s just a cookie
It’s the package that’ll sell.
S: I never thought of it that way
PM: Heh, heh, of course you didn’t
Now, place the hot pink papered cookie
In a decorator box,
Big enough to catch their eye
From halfway down the block
S: Oh, a decorator box
That’ll really ring their bell
And of course the hot pink paper would be absolutely well
PM: Cause a cookie’s just a cookie
It’s the package that will sell
I can see it! I can see it! It’s a vision!
We’ll seal it all in shrink wrap
Double thick and hard to tear
To keep the boxes shiny
And protect them from the air
S: Yeah the shrink wrap is important
To preserve the taste and smell
A decorator box, that’ll really ring their bell
And of course the hot pink paper
Would be absolutely swell
Cause a cookie’s just a cookie
It’s the package that will sell
Gosh this is awfully fun
PM: Work with me, work with me!
Put the shrink wrap boxed up cookie
In a slick designer sack
To make it most attractive
We don’t want it comin’ back.
S: Great! Designer sacks are magic
With the yuppie clientele
And the shrink wrap is important
To preserve the taste and smell
And, a decorator box, that’ll really ring their bell
And of course the hot pink paper
Would be absolutely swell
PM: Make it big, bigger, biggest! It’s the package that will sell!
S: Genius Boss!
PM: Have you ever doubted it?
Now of course this brilliant package
Will be traveling out of state
So wrap it all in bubble pack
And stick it in a heavy crate
S: Oh boy, oh boy
The crate would sure protect it
On the truck in case it fell
Designer sacks are magic
With the yuppie clientele
And the shrink wrap is important
To preserve the taste and smell
And a decorator box, that’ll really ring their bell
And of course the hot pink paper would be absolutely swell
PM: Call the kid...it’s a “wrap”
It’s a package that will sell
Georgie rode his bike back to the factory
Saw the package
G: Gosh it’s awfully big. He opened up the crate
And the bubble pack as well
The sack by a designer, whose name he couldn’t spell
Then the shrink wrap, package
With its funny plastic smell
Then the decorator box, which didn’t ring his bell
Then he broke the paper wrapper
And gave a dreadful yell!
G: Hey, there’s nothing in this package
It’s just an empty shell!
PM: You forgot the cookie, Snookie
S: No I didn’t it was swell
Boss you told me I should snack it!
PM: I said pack it!
S: Oops, oh well!
Never mind about the cookie
It’s the package that will sell
PM: I am the Package Man
I am the Package Man
G: It was just a little cookie
But it’s gotten out of hand
Well keep your fancy packaging
Your lettering and wrappaging,
A little paper bag I can recycle will work grand!
PM: He’s wrong, Snookie, the kid is totally wrong
What do I always tell you?
S: You’ve gotta...shrink wrap ‘em bubble pack ‘em
Neatly stack ‘em and they’ve gotta be
Crush proofed and leak proofed, bug proofed
What’s more they’ve gotta be
Sterilized, homogenized, sanitized, and maximized
Plastic-ack-ack packigated, by the Package Man
PM: I am the Package Man,
I am the Package Man
I can pack-ack-ack a package like no other packer can
G: Yes, I made the most delicious cookie
No I do not need the Package Man!